SHE was the woman at the centre of the Tamworth 'ice castle' but Rebecca Joan Hanshaw has told a court she "shouldn't of done it".
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The now 51-year-old took the stand in Tamworth District Court on Monday afternoon as part of her sentencing hearing for supplying drugs and tasers.
She was the long-term partner of ringleader Stephen Ross Hanshaw - who remains behind bars ahead of sentencing - but she now has a "steely determination" to stay well away from her life-long love who introduced her to drugs.
"I'm done," she said. "That part of my life is over."
She had been living at the Petra Avenue unit in South Tamworth, which had been dubbed the Tamworth 'ice castle' by co-accused when police raided the unit in May last year, in one of the largest drug operation's the city has seen.
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She acknowledged there was people coming and going at all times to source drugs, and there was money hidden in the home.
"It was there, but I was't allowed to touch it, it was his money," she told the court, adding she would have to ask for money to buy food.
"Why didn't you leave?" Defence barrister Siobhain Climo asked.
"I sort of, I was like trapped," Rebecca replied.
She said her marriage is over, after sending letters in jail to him, she realised before she got out she would end it.
"I've got to, I've got no choice ... I can't keep doing this for the rest of my life, I'm done," she told the court.
Rebecca has admitted to supplying methylamphetamine between September 2018 and May 2019; and supplying a prohibited weapon, namely a taser.
As part of the sentencing, Judge Jonathan Williams will also take into account offences of supplying fentanyl; as well as supplying another taser to someone unauthorised to possess it; and supplying ammunition.
Rebecca spent almost 12 months behind bars on remand - her first time in custody. She was granted bail in May to live with her family in Bundarra, near Inverell.
"Sorry that I done it, I just feel bad"
"[I was] scared, shocked, and took me a little while to get used to it," she said, adding it had given her time to reflect on "more or less the damage I had done" to "my family, friends, and the young people out there".
"Thinking about the young people out there that I sold the drugs too."
She told the court she was: "Sorry that I done it, I just feel bad, I shouldna done it".
"I'm never ever going to do it again," she said.
Rebecca acknowledged, under cross-examination from DPP solicitor Cameron Reynolds, that she knew supplying the drugs and tasers had the potential to harm people in the community.
"You certainly knew that weapon, or those weapons ... could be used on other members in the community?" he asked.
"Yep," she replied.
The court heard Rebecca had been with Stephen since they were 18, but things turned when they moved into together.
"Then they were like shit, we started using drugs," she said.
She detailed how her then husband had introduced her to drugs and she had become addicted to heroin and "pretty much didn't know what I was doing half the time'".
She eventually got onto the methadone program, and remains on it. She has also battled addictions to speed and fentanyl over the years.
"I just liked the high, I'm an addictive personality, no reason really, I just done it," she said.
"I lost everything"
Rebecca detailed that she "lost everything" when her partner "went to jail for cooking amphetamines" several years ago because they had been living in government housing at the time.
"They sort of blacklisted me," she said, detailing how she can't get government housing, and has "had to stay with my kids".
"I can't get a cheap house, a government house anywhere."
The court heard she's undertaking drug and alcohol counselling; living with her family; and for the first time has bought two cars, and is saving for her own house.
Rebecca's daughter gave evidence, telling the court when her mum was dealing and living in the Petra Avenue unit she was "not my mum".
"She was affected by the drugs, I could just tell that she was unhappy," she told the court.
She said her then relationship with her mother was "quite strained because of him [her father]"; it was "toxic" and "she does what she's told".
She said Rebecca was "doing so much better"; "it's good to have my mum back"; and "I believe she can do this on her own, I know she can," of living independently.
Ms Climo said her client has already served "essentially 12 months in custody", and pushed for her to be placed on an intensive corrections order (ICO), or jail term in the community.
She said Rebecca had show "good prospects of rehabilitation and an ability to live in the community crime-free".
'Significant impact of naming and shaming'
"[She was] heavily anchored in the relationship in which she was dominated by Stephen Hanshaw," Ms Climo submitted.
She argued the onerous bail conditions and "the sustained and very direct media attention, that Ms Hanshaw has been subject too" had been extra curiel punishment.
"The significant impact of naming and shaming of the media on her," she told the court, tendering several Leader articles on the 'ice castle' investigation.
"The media attention has been sustained."
She conceded Rebecca had used her own mobile phone for supply; did not have access to bulk quantities of drugs or money; but was aware of what was happening at her residence and "was effectively street dealing from the home".
"She took part in small-level supplies at that address," Ms Climo said, adding it was in the context of a drug addiction.
"She was a user dealer of fentanyl."
Mr Reynolds has argued full-time imprisonment is the only sentence because "she's a joint principle" in the operation and "willingly took part" in drug dealing.
"She marshalled other supplies, persons who were sourcing drugs," he submitted.
"She was a willing participant".
Judge Williams has reserved his judgement on sentence and will sentence her this month.
"Bail's to continue," he said.