Four years after his pro cycling career was unexpectedly torpedoed, Sam Spokes is still disturbed by an unwelcome intruder: the dreaded "what if?" thought.
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Such was the case when Frenchman Julian Alaphilippe, his former teammate, held the yellow jersey at the 2020 Tour de France and then became UCI road racing world champion.
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"There's definitely times when it is hard," said Spokes, who competed in races around the world during his almost six-year pro career, which ended prematurely in 2016 when, at age 25, he was left without a contract after his team merged with another outfit.
The 28-year-old believes he had not reached his full potential, that he did not retire on his "own terms". He may always have to deal with dark thoughts resulting from the perceived assassination of his childhood dream.
But with the support of his family and friends, and with a thriving business (he and his wife, Katelyn, operate Tamworth's LJ Hooker franchise), the father of two has a fulfilling life.
"I'm probably one of the luckier ones," he said, referring to professional athletes when their careers end.
The Spokeses took over the business almost three years ago. Spokes said he utilised the work ethic of a former professional athlete to oversee the sales side of the business, while Katelyn handled property management.
She previously worked for her husband's parents, Alan and Leanne, at their now-defunct real estate business Houses R Us Tamworth.
The young couple have been together more than seven years, married for five. Katelyn spent a year travelling with Spokes when he raced in Europe.
"We were lucky to be able to spend a year overseas together," he said. "She's always been very supportive of what I've done. And to be able to run a business together is a bonus, I think."
In January, Spokes received an offer "completely out of the blue": he was asked to join the Avantis Pro Racing team. The onset of COVID-19 derailed the road racing season, but Spokes has remained with the team.
In 2021, he said his main function at Avantis would be as a team director and a mentor to younger riders, although he "potentially" could do some racing.
On Saturday at the new velodrome, he will be doing plenty of racing at the Tamworth Track Open. The event will also feature the NSW under-15 and under-17 sprint championships.
It will be Tamworth Cycle Club's first major event at the velodrome, and another proud sporting moment for a city Spokes was raised in.
"I've always loved Tamworth, and always knew I would come back here," he said.
