Johnny Depp illegally snuck his two poodles into Australia says Barnaby Joyce, and now they need to 'bugger off back to California' or they'll be euthanised.
His two Yorkshire terriers will be destroyed if the dogs are not returned to the United States, Australian Agriculture Minister Mr Joyce says.
The actor failed to declare his two dogs, Pistol and Boo, to customs authorities when he and his wife, Amber Heard, returned to Queensland by private jet last month.
The Hollywood superstar returned to the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men tell No Tales after flying to the United States to seek treatment for an injured hand sustained during filming.
Mr Joyce said Depp's star status did not exempt him from Australia's strict animal quarantine laws.
"Just because he's Johnny Depp does not mean he's exempt from Australian law," he told 612 ABC Brisbane on Wednesday.
"The way this works is, if we are going to make an excuse for Johnny Depp with a private jet, who brought in dogs, we have to start making exemptions and excuses for everybody.
"If dogs come in and they have rabies ... the whole life in Brisbane changes. They won't be so sympathetic to Depp at that point in time.
"Think how close it is, it's in Bali, just next door, it's not fanciful stuff. Therefore, we are very diligent about what comes into our nation."
Australian customs authorities are expected to seize the dogs imminently and Mr Joyce said the actor would be asked to return Pistol and Boo to the United States.
"He can send them back or we will have to euthanase them," he said.
"In my view, he's a great actor, Jack Sparrow, wonderful, but this is not an excuse for breaking our laws.
"We rely on people being honest ... most reasonable people say, 'I do have a couple of dogs, I'd better put that on the piece of paper.' "
"If he really can't live without Pistol and Boo, if life is impossible without Pistol and Boo, he has to get them to go through the appropriate quarantine process where they would hold them in quarantine facilities like all the other dogs."
The minimum quarantine period for animals entering Australia is 10 days but Mr Joyce said he would not offer the option of Depp's dogs now going into quarantine.
"I'm dead against that idea and this idea that I break the law and then we go in another direction just because I'm a movie star; I don't like that," he said.
"If you want to obey the law, you have 10 days to quarantine."
As for how his tough stance may affect Depp's view of him, Mr Joyce was philosophical.
"I don't think Mr Depp will be inviting me to the grand opening of the Pirates of the Caribbean," he said.