The woman outed as Barnaby Joyce's sexual harassment accuser d and she didn't stop him.
Former West Australian Rural Woman of the Year Catherine Marriott made the complaint confidentially to the National Party in February but the details soon leaked.
After an eight-month-investigation - a period Ms Marriott describes as the worst of her life - the NSW branch announced it had been unable to make a determination about her complaint.
While Mr Joyce has previously described Ms Marriott's allegations as defamatory, she maintains her stance.
In a speech to a Rural, Regional, Remote Women's Network function for the #UsToo movement in Perth on Wednesday that got a standing ovation, she read out a journal entry she wrote before she formally lodged her lawyer-written complaint.
"The guilt, anger and disappointment I'm feeling now is preventing me from doing my job, preventing me from riding my bike, preventing me from getting out of my bed unless I really need to.
"It's like I'm in a vice and I can't move. The weight of this awful secret is too heavy on my shoulders.
"Every time I see his face on the news, it's a reminder of how weak I am.
"I'm angry because I should have stopped him, because he took advantage of a friendship, because I was so naive.
"I should have said something earlier but I'm scared."
She said she wrestled with her emotions - feeling brave one minute, wanting to run away the next - and agonised about what people were saying behind her back.
But now, she's feeling much more positive.
"I have more confidence, clarity, sense of purpose, happiness and determination than I've had in a bloody long time," Ms Marriott said.
"I'm no longer afraid of the unknown, which is a space the National Party of NSW kept me in for eight months."
Immediately after the party said it had reached no conclusion about her allegations, Ms Marriott said she was extremely disappointed.
But speaking with reporters before the event, she said she had "moved on from the results of that complaint".
"You can only hold on to frustration and anger for so long," she said.
Ms Marriott told the crowd she was often asked if she'd had some closure.
"This is it. Standing right here, handing on the baton for conversations that need to be had.
"The ultimate goal for the #UsToo movement is for this to not be a thing anymore because people are behaving appropriately."
Mr Joyce has been contacted for comment.
Australian Associated Press
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