Come home, Hayne Plane. Come home.
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Whether it's after Fiji's likely loss to the Kangaroos in Friday night's World Cup semi-final, next week or after collecting two more big, fat monthly pay cheques from the Titans, Jarryd Hayne could do far worse than take a hefty pay cut and plead with Parramatta coach Brad Arthur to take him back.
Not sold on the idea, Eels fans? Fair enough. Hayne walked out on you to pursue various dreams, threatened to come back to the Golden West when it all went sour, stuffed you around, snubbed your offer, took the cash at the Gold Coast and had a sly dig at his old club, achieved three-fifths of stuff all and now wants back in because he wants to be closer to his baby daughter in Sydney.
Yet there is something undeniably attractive for both Hayne and Parramatta if the two decide to reunite. The first instinct upon hearing that Hayne - or his representatives, more likely - was agitating for a return was ... no freaking way.
It would be a serious risk for Arthur and everything he has built in the past two years to let such a disruptive force back in, especially with Hayne no longer the game-breaker he once was.
More than that, he's earned the ugly reputation of being a coach killer. Parramatta are adamant their ethos is too strong and Arthur too staunch to let Hayne poison what has been established since the salary-cap scandal last year.
Arthur continues to impress. In his early days at the Eels, some players often whinged that he was too militant. One player joked he was too scared to smile in the coach's presence.
Perhaps he's softened. Whatever Arthur's methods are, they can't be disputed. Parramatta finished the regular season in fourth position and should've beaten Melbourne in the first week of the finals. It's generally accepted Hayne has already stitched up a deal for one season at Parramatta but numerous club figures say it's not done quite yet.
The Eels have made it clear in early discussions, though, that he would be returning on their terms, and for far less than his $1.2illion he's presently on at the Titans.
Let's not underestimate the power shift at play here. For years, Parramatta needed Hayne and coaches lived or died by which side of the bed he rolled out of that morning. Now Hayne needs his old club more than ever. He's been committed for Fiji at this World Cup but hardly brilliant. He's 29 and has a point to prove in the remaining few years as an athlete. Does he want to prove it, though? There's a whole junkyard of coaches who weren't able to unlock Hayne, often whinging out loud about how puzzling he can be to coach.
Arthur considers that to be his job: to get the best out of Hayne, not bemoan about how hard he is to mentor. The pair enjoyed a strong relationship in 2014 before Hayne pursued his NFL career with the San Francisco 49ers.
If Arthur can make it work, Hayne joins a back line ??? probably at centre ??? featuring Corey Norman, Mitchell Moses, Bevan French, Clint Gutherson and Michael Jennings.
Anyho, it will be another interesting paragraph in the enduring ballad of Jarryd Lee Hayne, although he does make weary rugby league hacks feel like Michael Corleone in Godfather III.
Just when they think they've written their last column about him, he pulls them back in.
ROOSTERS SURE PEARCE HAS A HOME
The Roosters are convinced Mitchell Pearce already has a deal in place for next season, and they believe it's with Manly.
On the move: Mitchell Pearce. Photo: AAP
He was so calm and collected about asking coach Trent Robinson for an unconditional release from his current contract - which means he stops getting paid - they believe he must have somewhere else to go. All eyes, now, on the Roosters and whether this dramatic change was worth it. Some players, such as captain Boyd Cordner, wanted Cooper Cronk at the club. Others did not and wanted more faith shown in Pearce.
ANGE'S DEPARTURE DIMINISHES LEGACY
FFA boss David Gallop tried to convince Ange Postecoglou to stay on as Socceroos coach until next year's World Cup in Russia.
Even when the notion of more money was raised, Postecoglou wasn't interested. Which is interesting. Nobody around the corridors of power at the FFA seems to know why he's gone. He mentioned the toll the role has taken on his family life, but didn't outright say that was the reason. It's impossible to not admire Ange, but he cannot ask every stakeholder in the game to "buy in" as he did when he first got the job and then walk away and say, "It was time" and not expect his legacy to be diminished.
THE QUOTE
"F--- Donald Trump, bitch. They should suspend your dumb ass, motherf---er. F---, all the goofy shit you do every day. When you gonna get suspended? F--- you, I'm with Marshawn Lynch, n----r."
??? I'm sensing Snoop Dogg is not happy with Donald Trump's call for the Oakland Raiders star to be suspended for dropping a knee during the US national anthem.
THUMBS UP
Four 'N Twenty has signed a multimillion-dollar sponsorship deal with the Philadelphia 76ers in the wake of Ben Simmons' jaw-dropping start to his NBA career, meaning hundreds of dog's eyes will be sold at home games. Let's hope it comes with instructions when said pie is hotter than hell. As we all know, there's a fine art to it.
THUMBS DOWN
Whaaaat? Opals centre Liz Cambage, playing for the Melbourne Boomers, gives Canberra's Mistie Bass a classic schoolyard dead leg with a sneaky knee from behind and the WNBL review panel suspends her for only two matches? Not cool.
IT'S A BIG WEEKEND FOR...
Jordan Spieth and Jason Day as they battle it out for the Australian Open, trying to win the Stonehaven Cup and $1 million in prizemoney ??? on top of their $1m appearance fee. Life. Be in it.
IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER WEEKEND FOR...
Wallabies hooker Stephen Moore, who has declared Sunday morning's Test against Scotland will be his last game of professional rugby. Good luck to him. And, dear readers, good luck to you.
Q&A: Kerry O'Keeffe
With the Ashes now upon us, we speak to the former Test leg-spinner and Triple M caller. He was in Wodonga for a speaking engagement on Wednesday night when we spoke.
Um, are you going to make it to Brisbane in time for the first ball?
I'm $2.80 and there hasn't been much money coming for me. I'm in the hands of Qantas.
What are your recollections of playing against England?
I made my debut in an Ashes Test in 1971. Bill Lawry was my first captain. He called me "Terry" for five days. I walked out to bat and 60,000 Victorians at the MCG erupted with applause. I took guard and Colin Cowdrey, the nicest man in cricket, shook my hand and said, "All the best young man, but not too much luck". I thought, "Fair dinkum, it can't get any better." Then John Snow bowled me a bumper, hit me in the heart and said, "F..king convict!" It spoilt my day.
Former spinner, current caller: Kerry O'Keeffe. Photo: Supplied
A Twitter war has erupted between Mitchell Johnson and Matt Prior over Nathan Lyon, who says the Australians hope to end a few careers in this series. Imagine if Twitter was around in your day.
Well, we wouldn't have needed 140 characters. Messages would've been delivered far more simply. We'd have had 132 characters up our sleeve ... Mitchell Johnson bowled rapidly in that series and England didn't enjoy their cricket. The same warning has been placed as last time. When I first went to England I was told to say nothing because Fleet Street could skin you alive. The worm has turned. I wouldn't want to tour here.
How are you finding Triple M?
I really enjoyed the three Tests against Pakistan last year. The demographic is 25-55 and male. I'm 68 this week. I work for them but I wouldn't listen to them.
The Channel 9 commentary team has been criticised for having too many "white men" on their team. A "sausage-fest", some have called it.
We're diverse. We've got Isa Guha, she's a ball-by-ball caller who took over a hundred wickets for England. She's got gravitas. It softens the machoness of Triple M.
Bulldogs board adds league nous with Farr appointment
Don't worry about messy legal proceedings involving former coach Des Hasler. The Bulldogs are ploughing ahead towards next season and on Friday will announce another significant appointment with Joanne Farr coming onto their board.
Born and raised right near Belmore Sportsground, she becomes the second female director at the club following the announcement of Anne Sinclair early this year. Well known and respected throughout the game, she brings 40 years of footy experience.
Sure, rugby league needs more women involved. But at a time when too many officials at all levels have plenty of business nous but not much rugby league knowledge, Farr is a welcome addition. She has skin in the game. Rugby league in recent years has snubbed too many of these people.
"It is an honour and privilege to be asked to serve on the Bulldogs board with a club I have supported all my life," Farr said. "I look forward to being involved in the Bulldogs family and making a contribution. Rugby League is a big part of my life and I love being a part of it."
Her journey in rugby league started in 1977 as a receptionist at the NSWRL before moving into the administration team the following year. She has worked alongside the heaviest of hitters, including Kevin Humphreys, John Quayle, Ken Arthurson and Geoff Carr.
"Joanne brings a wealth of rugby league knowledge and experience to the board and we're very pleased to welcome her as a director," chairman Ray Dib said. "As a board, we also value the diversity and perspective that another woman will bring to our governance and to our strategic vision."
Fellow board member Steve Mortimer said: "I have known Joanne for as long as she has been involved with the NSWRL. She is a very humble lady and knows a lot about the game."