With all due respect…
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Some have heard this expression many times, some not so many times.
But we all know what is coming next.
The person who makes this comment is about to disagree with you.
I came across this expression in recent days – and the person wasn’t speaking to me, although he could have been.
I was surprised to learn that the expression goes back many years – to earlier than 1826.
In that year, a writer was talking about caressing a greyhound.
Some found the expression going back to 1807, but I was not so lucky.
My big dictionary says about the expression with all due respect is “a polite phrase expressing proper deference; frequently used before stating, with some insistence, disagreement with another person’s views”.
You could start “I don’t mean to be insulting but…” and carry the same meaning.
In 1977, the Belfast Telegraph reported: “With respect, I feel that the views expressed by Lord MacDermott are unbalanced from the very unbalanced position of a judge who, by necessity of office, must lead a somewhat cloistered life”. Was that a remark that could refer to all judges – “by necessity of office”?
In 1978, The Times of London said with due respect that a suggestion seemed “almost wholly devoid of merit”.
Nigel Fountain had a good example of the use of this expression: “With respect, I am now going to contradict you.”
Actually, the phrase “with respect” almost sounds like patronising. I suppose it is.
The word respect has many uses. In a few pages of my big dictionary, I found many examples of respect. For instance, in respect to, in respect of, without respect, respect for a person, to pay one’s respects to, to resemble and so on.
There are many other words, such as respectabilise, respectability, respectably, respectance, respectant, respectful, respectfulness, respection, respective – and the list goes on for page after page of my dictionary.
I am asked sometimes about words and expressions that I have commented on that seem incorrect.
Allowing for the fact that I am often incorrect, I have to say that each newspaper has its own style and often prints a style book that its journalists have to follow. I submit reports to the various newspapers, the same as anyone else.
Some papers put apostrophe around the names of books, racehorses and other objects.
If you see the name of book or a racehorse and it looks a bit funny, often with apostrophe marks around it, don’t blame me.
laurie barber.com; lbword@midcoast.com.au