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A gaggle of women come to a screeching halt at a car park in the heart of Kootingal. Bowling shoes hit the deck. Cases click open.
The sound of cicadas ring out across a perfectly clipped green.
A little stretch of the neck, the direction of the wind felt on porcelain skin.
This is no joke.
The Kootingal Women’s Bowling Club ladies welcome me with open arms, kind smiles on their faces and a fierce competitive edge in their hearts.
This year, they’ll celebrate their 60th anniversary.
One of the ladies lights a cigarette, smoke furls from her lips in the morning sun.
On the sidelines, Mary Platt sits in the shade, she’s played for the last 22 years – it’s not lost on either of us that’s nearly as long as I’ve been alive.
“It was a lot different when I started,” she said.
“You didn’t just come into the club, the ladies asked you if you would like to join and they left it for a while when they asked you.
“When they were sure you wanted to join they would ask you to be a member.”
Hopefuls were sent straight to head coach, judge, jury and executioner Norman Butler.
After three lessons on the green that’s now named after him, it was decided whether or not you were allowed to join the competitive team.
Stood in front of a mirror, ladies would measure the length between their crisp white skirts and the floor.
“It was just the rules, because when you bent over - you know,” oldest serving member Jan Robertson said, raising one eyebrow.
Underneath, white stockings fell into white shoes and jewellery was absolutely impermissible.
“In the old days you didn’t dare say a word on the rink, you didn’t say anything to anybody – you played your game in silence,” Ms Platt said.
“It’s not like that anymore.”
The first meeting of the Kootingal Women’s Bowling Club was held in the supper room of Kootingal Hall on July 27, 1958.
Money for furniture and crockery was raised with cake stalls and card parties.
With no kitchen facilities, back then the women would cut sandwiches on old railway sleepers.
Now, the ladies’ primary business is catering wakes.
President Marie O’Connor has a mean curve ball and a gentle demeanour.
She assures me the women don’t gossip, they just chit chat.
“I mean not too bad anyway, we just chit chat, one of the ladies does the cards and we go from there,” she said.
“We do catering for wakes, we aren’t associated with the men’s club so we have our own money and raise our own money, that’s how we survive.
“Since I’ve been here we’ve had quite a lot, sometimes too many, sometimes it’s our own members and that’s what you don’t like – but it happens.”
Behind the competitive edge there’s no doubt this is a group of women that care deeply about one another.
Jan Robertson is the longest serving member of the club, she doesn’t play anymore and prefers the refuge of the shade.
A perpetual volunteer, she’s taken on the role of making cards for all the women when they’re sick or celebrating another tally on life’s scoreboard.
“We had a letter drop when I lived in Moonbi, I’d given up golf and thought I’d – “She’s got a keen eye,” Mary Platt interjects – have a go, I’ve been here ever since,” Ms Robertson said.
“The ladies are lovely, it’s just I can’t play now so I keep annoying them out here – I come every week.
“I like the friendship, the girls are lovely, we go out and I’ve taken on the job of sending birthday cards, doing our little lotto’s.
“At the end of the year we divvy up all the money and go for lunch.”
In June 1960, the women became associates of the men’s club – the first in NSW.
Rostered to make afternoon tea, the women made sandwiches with meat, corned tongue and mustard at a two shillings and a sixpence.
“If you were rostered you had to cook the tongue and press it, we have never lost our tongues since,” a note written by member Joan Treeve reads.
Now with 19 members on the books, the ladies have a combined 161 years bowling experience between them.
A good bowler is patient, positive and a good sport, the ladies believe.
Strangely there wasn’t a position on the team for me.
Past president Gwen Davidson approaches, in her hands a book filled with bowling achievements.
In 2012 she competed at the State Pairs Tournament at Lightning Ridge, flanked by Shirley Connolly.
“I think everybody likes to be competitive on the green but friends off,” she said.
“The women are really supportive of anything you do.
“I love it here, I’ve always found that everybody is here together which is really lovely.
“If you can see something they could do better they don’t mind you telling them either.”
Celebrating the 60th anniversary with a huge bowling gala day, the ladies will be joined by the Central Northern District Bowling Association president and teams from Willow Tree, Armidale, Oxley and more.
All up there will be 28 teams of ladies from 16 different clubs.
The celebrations are on September 26 from 9:30am, with morning tea, games of bowls and lunch.