So is the war in Iraq, one which costs hundreds of millions of dollars every single year and which could be much better spent on creating jobs.

And talking about jobs, all that is just a distraction from the heart of the matter, the thing which monarchists don’t dare to mention.

As monarchists loudly proclaim, Australia and Britain are in no way subordinate to one another. 

So our Queen can live with us, can’t she?

Britain can have a governor-general?

When she’s living with us, our Queen will naturally perform all her royal duties for us alone.

She will take advice from our government alone and pay state visits to promote our interests alone, regardless of whether our interests conflict with British ones.

And she will most definitely do everything possible to help our farmers against the double-dealing and hypocrisy of the European community.

She will do whatever she can to stop British farmers partaking in that double dealing and hypocrisy.

She herself will also sign Australian laws which restrict British trade in Australia and the movement of British people here.

The trade laws will apply most particularly to agriculture, of course.

Some people in Britain (those of my acquaintance, for example) would object to being treated like this by their very own queen.

They would say that no monarch could even consider such treason.

They would say that any Queen of Britain who behaved in such a thoroughly un-British way would have to choose between losing her throne, her head, or both.

But the Queen of Australia treats her people in exactly that fashion, and Australian monarchists (especially those involved in agriculture) think it’s just dandy.

I don’t necessarily support Australia becoming a republic.

I’d be happy enough with Australia getting a monarch of its very own, to stop the present disgraceful nonsense – but I’ve been almost spat on for suggesting it.

Monarchists like Barnaby Joyce have to face the fact that they are just childish colonial grovellers who have no idea of how to live in a country which has grown up.

And if the whole thing is just a distraction, then it won’t matter if we become a republic and get on with all the important stuff – will it?